| Negotiating effectively means proving that you’re a collaborator, not an adversary. To do that, you need to demonstrate that you’re attuned to your counterpart’s logic, emotions, and perspective. These strategies can help.
Use short, simple vocal prompts. For example: “And?” “Really?” “Then?” “Mmm,” “Uh huh,” “Go on,” and “Interesting.” The aim is to nudge the other person to continue and make them feel understood. Ask open questions. This helps you demonstrate your interest in their position and buy time, gather data, clear up misunderstandings, and defuse emotions. Good open questions start with “what” and “how,” while questions that start with “why” tend to sound accusatory and judgmental. Reflect back—or mirror—the last few words used by your counterpart. This is an easy way to demonstrate that you’ve heard them, keep them talking, and create rapport. And by carefully choosing which words to mirror, you can also steer the conversation in the direction you’d like. Leave room for silence. Effective pauses give your counterparts space to collect their thoughts, elaborate, or even vent in ways that can be informative for you. Simply refrain from responding after they seem to have finished speaking. |
| This tip is adapted from “Negotiate Like a Pro,” by Scott Walker |