Communicate Directly—Not Rudely

Direct communication is an important work skill—especially for a manager. Being clear about what you want and need from people (and why) makes everything more efficient. But if you’re too harsh, you can end up doing more harm than good. Here’s how to toe the line between being direct and veering into rudeness.

• When delivering feedback, focus on facts. Remove your emotions from the conversation, and instead give the person honest, concrete evidence about their performance. Your goal is to help them grow, not to vent.
• When expressing an opinion, use “I” statements. Avoid making accusations or casting blame, which will put your employee on the defensive. Instead of calling them out and pointing fingers, call them in by expressing your experience of their behavior.
• Turn a hard “no” into a soft “no.” As a direct person, your instinct may be to unambiguously reject an inessential work request that comes in when you just don’t have the bandwidth to take it on. But if you’re too blunt, you risk being perceived as someone who doesn’t want to collaborate or help out. Instead, find the compassion to offer an alternative that works better for you and your schedule, or kindly explain why it’s impossible for you to take on.
• When making a request, be considerate, not commanding. There’s nothing wrong with giving clear, direct instructions and assignments. Just remember to be reasonable, express gratitude, and offer support if your employee needs it.

This tip is adapted from “How to Be Direct Without Being Rude,” by Yasmina Khelifi and Irina Cozma (From HBR)